I was picking up clients earlier in the year in the parking lot and while I was getting lunches and gear loaded I noticed one of my guests was wandering around my trailer with pen and paper while his buddy was rifling through my boat.
I couldn’t catch all of their banter because I was hustling through my morning of phone calls, getting the guide crew with guests lined out for the days fishing, and trying to make sure my boat was ready to fish. I did discern a couple times I heard “Check! Thank God!”
These two guests have been with me since my first days guiding. They fished with me in my twenties and I am almost 40 now, so we have been through more than our share of trout, weather, and water together. We are all veterans to the game and this trip is always like fishing with friends.
I try to carry myself as a highly organized outfitter. If I set the meet time for the guest at 8:30 I am there at 8:15 a.m. and I expect our guides to be there early ready to work – good lunch, clean boat, flies in order, gear ready to go, and sober. That sounds basic, but in the guide business these are far from given if you let yourself slide. I like the days when the machine runs well – guides are early ready to go, clients are on time with the right gear, fishing is good, and the boats make it home at a reasonable time. We are so blessed with excellent veteran guide staff that this is the typical day. Mother Nature is a wrench thrower so you learn to think on your feet, but I don’t like to make mistakes that you have some control over – good lunch, clean boat, flies in order, gear ready to go, and sober. When guides miss on these basics start you in a hole that you didn’t have to dig. Its a long season starting in March and running everyday into November so not everybody remembers everything every day, you adjust and don’t make a habit of it.
I finally get the crew moving towards the Bitterroot for the Skwala Hatch and head back to my boat to get rolling and I keep hearing “Check, Thank GOD!”
Curious and knowing I am in for a laugh I peer over the shoulder of the pen toting guests and I hear another “Check. Thank God” followed by a ”Are you sure? Yes. Check! Thank God!”
I find Gary’s List of my gear-

Apparently I am not the perfect organized outfitter I thought I was and my misses in organization center wholly around these two angler’s trip.
So lets examine the list via our perspectives -
Boat: Joe 1 point.
I have never forgotten my boat, but I did show up a few years ago on a hustling trip without one. Missoula was blown out and Gary and Laurie had to catch an flight out that evening so it nixed any chance of escaping to the Missouri for a day due to a flight timetable. They thought I forgot it, but my plan was a wade fishing day on the mini-tailwater in the Upper Clark Fork. The day went great and we pounded big fish when all the rivers were blown out.
Net: Gary and Laurie 1 point
During the above mentioned day on the tailwater Laurie lands a 27 inch rainbow, and it turns out I left my net in the boat that I didn’t bring to wade fish with. We end up beaching the beast and luckily I had some wool gloves to be able to tail it like a steelhead. Laurie will say it was he who suggested I use the wool gloves when he saw them hanging out of my pack. He claims I didn’t even know I had them and it was his clear thinking and innovation that got the monster landed. My retort is that it was my innate trout instinct that subliminally told me to bring tailing gloves in anticipation of this big fish event. Either way I forgot the net.
Grill: Gary and Laurie 1.5 points
I have forgotten my grill twice in my career both with these two guests. The first was a cold day on the Clearwater whose highlight was neither the fishing nor the hot teriyaki pork chops I had packed. Rather it was Gary the comedian extolling the merits of potato chip sandwiches and asking for a pretend coke to go with the pretend hot lunch. The second was nasty rain day on the upper clark fork whose highlight was the brownies spree feeding on streamers and the hot lunch without a traditional grill. Rather, we started a fire and used the raft cooler brackets to grill the burgers on. I thought it was an innovative way to save lunch if you didn’t mind a little aluminum shine to your elk burger. Laurie would claim it was his idea, but again it was I who brought the raft frame brackets. I will split this episode.
Oars – Gary and Laurie .5 point
I have done this once and it again happened to be with these guys. I think they sabotage me. I was changing how the oars were being loaded in my new boat and just blanked them when I drove off . We made it all the way down to St. Regis and while the boat launched. My clients were unwilling to paddle with their hands to steer the boat – these guys are soooo picky. I ran down to my buddy’s fly shop about 6 miles away and corralled a set of oars to make it through the day. What we lost in 20 minutes of fishing while I acquired oars Gary and Laurie more than recovered in comedic lines generously dolled out throughout the day. As clever as you are Laurie you couldn’t solve this one with a stick and woven leaves McGiver style, now could you.
Lunch – Joe 1 point
I never have forgotten lunch, just the mechanism to serve it. So on pure legal definition this one goes to me.
Gas For Truck: Joe 1 Point
I have never run out of gas. Nervous rides in on fumes don’t count.
Anchor: Joe .5 Point, Gary and Laurie .5 Point
We had wrapped up our fishing day on the Bitterroot and were driving back to Missoula. This big Ford F-350 races up next to us beeping his horn and yelling to pull over. Not Knowing what trouble Gary and Laurie had brought with them from Seattle – Gary is a judge, and who knows who he has put behind bars over the years. I kept driving. Finally the Ford rolls down his window and yells – Your anchor is down! Dumbass! and speeds off. Apparently I hadn’t thrown the anchor in the back of my truck when I loaded the boat and it was dragging behind the boat as we did 65 mph down highway 93. By the time I got stopped the anchor was long gone and rope was left frayed and empty. So yes, we lost an anchor, but it was after our fishing day. Plus, anchors by design are intended to stop boats. It hadn’t done its job very well on asphalt. I bought a new and more effective anchor but I have not tested it out at highway speeds yet.
Boat Plugs – Joe 1 point
I have never forgot these, what do you think I am some scattered first year guide?
Overall – Joe Wins! In doing research into the quality controls in place at A Classic Journey Outfitters over the the thousands of well organized float trips we have done I find one consistent factor that produces the highest probability of disorganization – Laurie and Gary! My findings are completely scientific and supported by my opinion. Laurie and Gary refute these conclusions with mere facts, but who can trust anglers who keep booking into an arena of oarless boats, lost anchors, forgotten grills, imaginary Cokes, and potato chip sandwiches.
We do catch a bunch of big fish together and that seems to make it all run smoothly in the end.
Now could I get a copy of that list. It’s not like a need it, I just think some of the other guys, yeah the other guys, might find it useful.